When You Do Everything Right and Still Don't Win

Happy Monday, Fam!

So… how about that football game?

Now, here are two things about me that I usually wait to tell people:

1. I’m a Packers fan.

2. I own an Android.

That second one? Woof. I always feel like a double minority. I receive an astonishing amount of hate over my phone.
“Who is the cheap ass with an Android in the chat?” — a direct quote.

Androids are not cheap! But I digress...

As a Packers fan, that last quarter was painful. The final 11 seconds stole the air from my lungs. And the end felt like a dagger straight to the heart. (Dramatic? Sure. Accurate? Also yes.)

That feeling instantly reminded me of moments in my career.

It shouldn’t surprise you that I’m competitive. My biggest opponent has always been myself. Whether it’s in the gym with my eyes closed, breathing steady through some Cardi B while I lift 200 pounds like my life depends on it, or at work, where I clock in at 7:30 a.m., put my headset on and answer emails at lightning speed like I’m in The Hunger Games, trying to out-strategize my way to the top spot.

I’ve had moments in my career where I was so sure a promotion was coming. I did all the “right” things: raised my hand, stayed late, took on extra projects and all this lead to praise and promises of better job titles and higher compensation. But...it didn't come.

I felt exactly how Love must’ve felt at the end of that game.

Devastated. Like a dagger to my corporate heart.

My first thoughts are always:
What did I do wrong?
Where did I mess up?
How can I be better?

As an HR professional, I know a few things can be true at the same time:

1. There may not be a business need,

2. There may not be a budget, and

3. (The hardest truth of all) One day, just not today.

The toughest part of the game was watching Love walk away knowing he gave it everything he had. He was so close. But not close enough to win.

I know I may be talking to Bears fans here, but I think we can all agree… that’s tough.

I think being in a season of patience is one of the hardest parts of learning how to live a soft life. You have to slow down — really slow down — and listen. You have to be quiet, like being ever so still that you can faintly hear the drops fall on your window pane on a rainy day. You have to learn how to tune into your body. Learn how to pull back on spending during a shaky economy. Learn how to wait to buy your dream home when bidding wars aren’t in your favor.  Learn how to be patient with yourself after a few bad days.

But one of the hardest things to learn is that you can be patient, as patient as a monk, while you work hard, put in your all, and play great and at the last possible moment, you can still lose. And those moments become the ones with the biggest lesson: learning to soothe yourself in these hard moments that are outside of your control so you can get right back at it. 

And, that’s true for Love, too, right?

So this season, I’m dusting off my jersey and getting back at it. But if you've been reading my newsletters for some time, you know that "it" is different this time. I'm not just focusing on my inside-of-work accomplishments, but my outside-of-work ones too. 

Physically? I’m five weeks out from my next powerlifting competition — my head has to be in the game.
Mentally? I’m practicing mindfulness and compassion with myself.

And to soothe myself when my effort doesn't come out the way I planned, I’m taking a vow to rest.

Lately, choosing rest over productivity has felt hard. But sometimes, rest is exactly what we need. No one is standing over me demanding output. I remember a manager once telling me, “Ashley, take the time off. If the organization stops because you were gone for a few days, that says more about the organization than it does about you.”

That stuck with me, and it's invigorated me for this next chapter.

It’s the Year of the Horse. A year of transformation. A year for new beginnings.

So, what are you envisioning for yourself this year? And how are you soothing yourself when the moments you're anticipating don't work out how you're hoping?

Whatever your journey is, enjoy it. Embrace it. Be unapologetically you.

Wishing you a very soft year ahead

With love,
Butler & Co.